TIRED AF
“Hey Alexa, play ‘Tired’ by Beabadoobee”
Is it the pandemic, is it existing in 2023, is it my allergies, is this the feeling of getting old? Personally, I’ve been dealing with a chronic feeling of “tired AF” for quite a while now, and I seem to run through a list of questions to myself before I end up shrugging and repeating “it is what it is.” However, from my circle of friends and other communities, I know definitively that I’m not the only one struggling with this experience.
I’m a big fan of TED Talks and I ran across one recently that felt like the exploding brain emoji. Enter Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith and “The real reason why we’re tired and what to do about it.”
I’m not sure about ya’ll, but I really don’t know how I made it so many years in life without learning that there are SEVEN different types of rest, and no, it’s not just 7 different types of naps you’ll see on reels, memes, and TikTok’s.
Dr. Dalton-Smith psychoeducates how rest and sleep have been used interchangeably in today’s culture. In actuality there are different ways in which we need to care for our bodies – even when it feels like we just need five more minutes.
Physical Rest: The one we’re probably most familiar with; sleeping, napping, stretching, gentle walks, and massage therapy. These are things we do with our body that help improve circulation in our bodies and our flexibility.
Mental Rest: We often refer to this one as “turning off our brain.” Especially if we’re prone to overthinking, this one probably feels like a monumental effort. Things are constantly racing in our heads, we’re worried we may forget things, we struggle to truly unplug from the mental energy we’re constantly putting out. Resting might look like turning electronics off and option for connecting in person or reading a book.
Spiritual Rest: Spiritual rest is an ability to connect beyond the physical and mental and to feel a deep sense of belonging, love, acceptance, and purpose. Resting may look like meditation, attending a service (religious or secular), or spending time in spaces you feel most connected, like in nature.
Emotional Rest: The way this one is referenced is a person who “will give you a reluctant ‘yes’ rather than a truthful ‘no.’” I think fondly of this person, because if you’re self-identifying with that statement, we’re looking at some people pleasing behaviors. That tendency to take care of others before we care for ourselves. Rest may look like saying “no” when you feel the gut urge to, setting boundaries to feel less over-extended, and not emotionally caretaking for others.
Social Rest: Following quickly from an emotional rest deficit, we’re likely to notice a need for social rest as well. Dr. Dalton-Smith words it so well in saying “[social rest deficits] occur when we fail to differentiate between those relationships that revive us from those relationships that exhaust us.” I think people are quick to jump to being an introvert or extrovert, but do we know what is it about those individuals we’re surrounded by that drains us or fulfills us? Social rest might look like spending time with people who make us feel rejuvenated or spending time without social demands.
Sensory Rest: Let’s face it, today’s modern world, particularly our other commercialized spaces, are sensory nightmares: fluorescent lighting *immediate cringe*, office “ringtones,” bright computer screens, buzzing notifications, office climates often comparable to the arctic and so many other forms of stimulation. Our tolerances when it comes to sensory input varies, but our need for rest from sensory input is universal. Sensory rest can look like making adaptations to our environment to make spaces we need to be in more tolerable, such as noise cancelling headphones, or maybe taking intentional time to limit sensory exposure, like a sensory deprivation tank or a soft bed, earplugs, and blackout curtains.
Creative Rest: Noted particularly for problem solvers and those in creative work, but truly for all of us who need a wholesome recharge, we need creative rest. Creative rest is best described as those “holy crap this is awesome/cool/wonderful” moments. Creative rest may look more active than other types of rest as this is often exposing yourself to different spaces of creativity. Nature trails, local and national parks, beaches, mountains, lakes are great resting options. Spaces dedicated to creative arts and innovation are also great restful experiences, like local museums, concerts, orchestras, festivals, university museums, libraries, and studios.
With all of these different types of rest at hand, somehow many of us still try to slap a nap on our exhaustion like we patch a bursting pipe with duct tape. It’s no wonder so many of us feel so burnt out.
Instead of jumping to the conclusion that our chronic sleepy aesthetic is solely based on a lack of sleep, let’s also explore other ways to rest and not just sleep. Dr. Dalton-Smith asserts, “rest is something sacred, valuable and worthy of our respect.” If you’re up for a challenge think of one way you can satisfy each type of rest we need and try to implement it in your life.
If you’d like help figuring out where your rest deficits are and what you need to start living a less exhausted and unfulfilling life, reach out today. I’d be happy to talk with you in a brief complementary call to see how I can support you.
Take good care,
Michelle
P.S. If you’re looking for further reading on resting, I’ll be checking out:
Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Energy by Dr. Saundra Dalton – Smith
Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price
Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey
