Therapy for people who suspect being neurodivergent
and struggle to function in a neurotypical world.
My clients struggle as you do. Despite being hardworking, generous, and incredibly persistent, life is hard.
When they first come in, they are hanging in there, barely. They are compassionate givers at heart who find themselves burning out left and right as the world around them keeps demanding more. Their friends and family seem to care, but for whatever reason, don’t seem to give the support they need to keep going. They have a stack of self-help books that would build a small library, they’ve got podcasts out the wazoo, and at least 15 tabs open of articles they want to read about healing and having a more fulfilling life. Despite numerous tries including working with therapists, they feel lost and frustrated in trying to figure out where the “problem” lies. As they reflect on the past something feels wrong, but they can’t put a finger on it. They start to wonder if they really fit in this world. They often see that they’re the common denominator, a creeping feeling lingers in the back of their minds with the thought, as Taylor Swift would put it, “It’s me. Hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.”
They blame themselves for what’s going wrong in life. Friends and family remind them that it’s not always their fault, but it feels fake and empty when they say it. How can it not be their fault when they don’t see anyone else struggling in the same ways? Their support systems often say “call me if you need anything” and “I’m here for you,” but when they do reach out they feel as though their support systems don’t get it. They feel dismissed and never hear people outright accuse them of being overdramatic, but they seem to imply it. And let’s face it, my clients might not even have the bandwidth to reach out in the first place, which often feels like a burden and it further complicates even sending a text.
When talking with someone it feels like a battle to choose between paying attention to the conversation or how they feel themselves, often struggling to reach that place of connection and instead feeling like you’re only partially engaged and letting both their people and themselves down in the process.
My clients at times self-reflect and they seem to always come back to a personal defect, feeling like the way their brain works is so different from others. It shows up in family dynamics and friendships, and often at work and school, too. My clients find it really hard to share what’s going on, they say how they feel over and over, but don’t feel heard or understood. Their supports don’t show up for them the same way that they show up for people they support, which feels crushing and draining. Having a “support system” feels more like having a few people they might reach out to if they really really need to, “and even then, we’ll see” runs through their heads.
At times it feels like being able to pour themselves into work or projects is one of the best ways they can contribute to the world and they find themselves prioritizing work and putting their own care on the back burner. While when they can accomplish things at work they feel the rush of success and achievement, to only face crippling moments of overwhelm and feeling like the bare minimum is out of their capacity.
Before they came to see me, they fear and often suspect they have “broken brains.” Feeling unable to truly connect with others in meaningful ways, feeling overwhelmed to manage daily stressors and tasks, and feeling behind in life, like somehow we’re all on the journey but someone added cement blocks to their shoes and they’re not where they want to be with their relationships, financial stability, life stages, or career.
Like my clients, you deserve to have fulfilling relationships and support systems you feel supported by, you deserve to feel less overwhelmed by daily life, and you deserve to feel empowered and capable of reaching meaningful life milestones and goals.
Having a life where you can thrive and not merely survive is not out of your reach. If you’re ready to change how things have been, I’d love to help!
“Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways.”
Glennon Doyle Melton